What I have learned about coastal South Texas........

1. People here apparently don’t have a sense of humor—I made a sarcastic
remark to the checkout guy in the Walmart here and he was very impressed. He shouts in all caps...FINALLY SOMEONE WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR. Well that really explains a lot.

2. Mosquitoes come in hoards of a thousand.

3. Fishing is all the entertainment one needs?????? Me, well I find the idea crazy. You wait what could be all day for a fish to fling itself on a hook. And then you have to take it home and clean it’s guts and peel the skin off. Where does the fun part come in?

4. Recycling/being green is just a phase. There is no need to embrace it here. It will go away eventually.

5. Tattoos are a prerequisite to relocate to this area. No matter your age, gender or education level you must possess a tattoo in an area where others can see. I won’t be relocating anytime soon.

6. Water is all the tourists need. There is no need for a fancy beach. People will visit if the beach is made out of rocks and there is seaweed so thick that you fear you may lose one of your children.

7. Hot? It isn’t hot here. Windy? It’s not windy here.

8. One doesn’t necessarily need all his or her teeth to be on a local commercial.

9. H.E.B. is not pronounced Heeeb.

10. Tony Romo is no joke. He is not just a mediocre football player, dating a celebrity. In this state he is Zeus!!!