On Being a Grown Up

Well it seems the Department of Defense has deemed that my husband is worthy of a lot more responsibility. So today they gave him the keys to a ship in which he will be the commanding officer. Am I proud? Absolutely 100 percent but there is a part of me is like, say what? I have known my husband since we were 13/14 years old and that was over twenty years ago. At some point I think I fell asleep and then woke up and it was 2008. Seriously when did this happen? OMG...I have two kids too! In my mind it is still 1986 and Pretty In Pink isn't just a retro movie!

Maybe I'm just freaking because my new title is now COW. (stands for Commanding Officer's Wife) Seriously, I would like to meet the individual responsible for that and slap him around for a while. I know the military likes to abbreviate things but this takes it to a whole new level. It isn't an official title thank heavens but I know exists and those involved...I'm watching you. If you must use an abbreviation may I suggest...SHOW.(Super Hot Officer's Wife)

Back in South Texas

Some things never change. It is still hotter than heck here. I still have to drive a million miles to find something I need. So maybe I should stop there because if you have nothing nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything. THREE MORE DAYS UNTIL WE GO HOME TO CALIFORNIA!!!

Why my children want to live in the country.

Besides the fact that they want a puppy too. Great grandpa gave them a ride through the yard in Alabama. Boy they are really going to have to adjust to city life in a week!

Mommydar (A.K.A. Mommy Radar)

The other night I could hear the kitchen cabinets opening and closing and I looked around. Both girls were missing. So I listened some more…complete silence minus the rustling of paper. I knew they were stuffing their faces full of something they shouldn’t but being the tricky mom I am, I wanted to test the response they would give.

ME: Girls what are you doing?

GIRLS: NOOOOOTHINGGGG. (Which sounded like it was coming from a chipmunk)

ME: Hmmm. Sounds like something to me. Are you lying?

GIRLS: YEEESSSSS.

I would like to take credit for this as if I had instilled values into my girls that they prefer not lying. However, I know that the truth is that they were just scared I was going to get up and verify what was happening. A little fear goes a long way I guess.

Brings a tear to my eye.

The girls and I are currently on a road trip with my mom. Where are we? In no other place than Auburn, Alabama. Home to my Alma Mater and the best darn school evah... Auburn University! I literally drug my girls around everywhere today. AM2 had never been here and AM1 was only 3 the last time she was here. I warned them beforehand since I knew you can't drive on campus during school hours that they were going to have to wear their tennis shoes and it was going to be hard. (It took me 30 minutes for me to get them out of the shower--the heavenly glassed in, rain shower is a huge hit) They did get a little tired but we had a blast. Well maybe just I had a blast but still there was tons for them to see/do/shop for.

One thing has not changed, the friendliness will never die here. As we were returning our luggage cart to the lobby last night, everyone stopped and talked to the girls. AM1 says, "I like this hotel. Everyone here is so nice." I bent down to her level and continued the brainwashing, "That is because you are in Auburn. It is the best place in the world." She scoffed and was probably suppressing the urge to roll her eyes and says, "Not better than heaven though." I scoff and reply, "You have no proof of that." War Eagle

Dinner Conversation

AM2: I have special powers.

ME: Oh. What kind of powers do you have?

AM2: If I squint my eyes like this(squints real hard), it makes the light shine like a diamond. You try it.

ME: (Squinting) Oh I see four streams of light coming off the light bulb.

AM2: See...I told you I had powers. You have powers too because I touched you.

ME: Hmmmm. I always wanted Super Powers.

Texas pays me back for bad mouthing.

So Tuesday my husband took my car in for an oil change and then filled it up with gas. We then packed the car until midnight. Wednesday my husband kissed me and the girls goodbye before heading off to work. Where are we going? We are running from Ike! We voluntarily evacuated the coast of Texas. Fourteen hours later, we arrived at my parents' house in Alabama. (wasn't ready to go home to California)

I felt like a weenie. I was busy running and on the other side of the road I saw the CNN news truck and hundreds of power/electric trucks heading toward the storm area. Maybe I'm not a weenie. Maybe they are crazy or just reluctantly doing their job.(like my husband who has to stay on a ship during the storm)

The girls traveled like champs. We didn't make it in until 2am and they had been asleep for 5 hours! They are really pros I tell you.

Now I somehow have to focus them on schooling and who wants to study at grandma's house? Especially when she lives where they can run freely without having to watch for cars!

So what have the girls done since their arrival? Well they have birthed a puppy and placed it next to the mama to suckle. (see picture)

The tooth caper.

So we spent a few days in San Antonio. We hit Sea World and the Alamo which exhausted all of us.
On the way home we stopped and got something to eat—at a Texas establishment where you throw peanuts on the floor. We ordered the girls’ meals first because they were cranky and tiresome. After they finished eating, our food arrived and of course the girls were wanting to be held or cuddled. (Reason number one why we normally don’t order their food before ours.) Just as I bit into my ribs and were waiting for it to hit my stomach AM1 exclaims, “My tooth! Where did it go?” She frantically looks around and there is a big gap with blood oozing out. There goes my appetite. Now I am a nurse by profession however I was quite bothered by where this missing tooth could be, was it in my beans, ribs or fries? I mean the child was sitting directly across from me!
Well AM2 starts panicking too. She wants her big sister to get the payment she deserves from the tooth fairy. AM2 is my mud loving child. She slings it, she squishes and yes occasionally she eats it. Before I could even get any words out of my mouth, she is on the floor searching for the missing tooth. We are now developing an audience because let’s face it folks, there isn’t much in the way of entertainment in these parts. After a couple of minutes under a dark table AM2 shouts , “I found it. I found the tooth.” She comes up waving the thing and gives it to her sister.
Then AM1 ran to the bathroom to clean out her mouth. Then two seconds later AM2 followed after stating that she was an expert. They emerge. I pull out the camera phone and snap the picture. Then AM2 marvels that her tooth feels a lot like a peanut. Upon further examination, yup it was a peanut. I took her crowning glory picture with a peanut.
So then the search starts again for the tooth b/c AM1 needs to get paid! AM2 scoured the floor and found the tooth and yells loudly so everyone can hear, “ I know this one is the right one. It has blood coming out of it.” The love of a sister I guess.
In case you are curious, the picture is of AM1's peanut.

My Radio Flyer needs to be towed

Treking barefoot through the snow.

Me: Good morning.

My first born: Mommy you look sick. Your face is all red, you don't look so good! But you can still go to Sea World, right?

Me: I'm a mom, what do you think?

My first born: Good.

Ocho Cinco, I must go there.

I have to go there. I have to.

It seems that there is a young NFL star that has legally changed his name from Chad Johnson to Chad Ocho Cinco. He plays for the Cincinnati Bengals and wears you guessed it…number 85! Originally he had placed the name on his jersey 2 years ago in honor of National Hispanic Month and was slapped with a 5k fine. I’m pretty sure he isn’t Hispanic. (I’m just saying.)

Now I have two perspectives on this. First as a mother I think how terrible. His mom spent some time planning and thinking—not necessarily about his last name but still you want it all to sound good when it rolls off the tongue. It was easy and safe, not all NFL stars are so lucky. Oh the horror of what my two girls would pick!

Secondly, I look at this as a person who has always had last names that people could not pronounce. Growing up people always messed it up and it really wasn’t all that difficult. Then I got married. To a Thai man. Apparently he experienced the same problem. My sister in law and husband would pretend to be the Smiths, Jones, and yes by gosh the Johnsons when going out to eat because it was much easier than getting the hostess to even attempt their last name. (A Thai name and people in Alabama with thick southern accents do not mix!) So dude Chad had it easy, smooth sailing at the Cracker Barrel. He is apparently making way too much money and having way too much free time on his hands to dream up something this crazy. I’m sure the publicity doesn’t hurt either. (sigh)

Ocho Cinco, party of four your table is now available.

I lost my filter.

It seems that my beloved youngest daughter is missing something. Yep, she is missing that filter that keeps us from saying exactly what is on our minds. Any thought and any where comes streaming out of her mouth. This isn’t unusual since I think most parents experience at least one child in their family who causes the hairs on their neck to stand up when the take them into the public eye. I’m sure this filter will develop in the next year or two and then life will become boring and hum drum with everyone of us being politically correct and all.

My husband finds this odd and peculiar since our very mature seven year old developed her filter at a very young age. So the other night he asks her if she thinks about things before saying them or just says them. AM2 didn’t really understand the question but she held out her hands and shrugged. It was if she was saying, “What is there to think about?”

Here are some examples of her current ramblings, one of which occurred in a public place and she felt no need to whisper—in fact she doesn’t know how to whisper:
Why did that man come in the restaurant without shoes on?
Good point
Why are those crazy people riding in the back of that truck?
Another good point

A fun pastime of mine is to imagine what it would sound like if I was missing my filter in the same situation she was placed. Here it goes:
Scenario 1: Hey genius, did you lose the only pair of shoes you own? You know it really is unhealthy to walk around without shoes all the time, especially in public places. Just ask the children in Africa. I could perhaps overlook this if we were in an eating establishment on the beach but we aren’t. Also, I find it offensive to look at your gnarly toes while I’m trying to eat.
Scenario 2: Hey rednecks could you please stop riding in the back of trucks? I hate having to re-explain to my children how unsafe it is and how I like their heads exactly where they are…on top of their bodies. I mean thirty years ago this was ok but now with all the research that seat belts do work maybe you should give one a try! (All this being screamed out of my car window of course—that’s not redneck, right?)

It’s time to build a tower.

So the events of this fabulous Labor Day weekend have led me to the conclusion that the whole Rapunzel thing isn’t such a bad idea.

My 7 year old daughter has developed a crush. She has had a few before and they usually pass without much worry. I don’t feed into them and cause a frenzy because hey she is only 7. But this one was disturbing on two levels. First, it was the University of Alabama’s quarterback. It was after the game when the token girl sideline reporter tracked this young fellow down for an interview. My oldest stopped in her tracks and looked longingly at the TV screen asking, “Who’s that mommy?” My stomach churned and I tried to be ignorant of her obvious feelings by saying, “Why honey? He’s from the Univ of Alabama so we don’t really care who he is.” This didn’t deter her at the moment and so I commented that she thought he was cute, she blushed and nodded. If I call her out sometimes that ends her pursuit…what could be worse than your mom knowing your secret, right? She soon realized her error as I finished preparing her for bed. She pined as if she was in a Shakespeare novel, “Why do I always fall for the ones who are famous and I’ll never meet? Or the ones that are part of the enemy?” Oh you poor dear destined for ill fated love. Whatever, kid you are only 7!

The second disturbance was when the news of VP hopeful Sara Palin’s daughter hit the news wire. I was already in the state of you are way too young for---fill in the blank. Now I have to wrap my mind around the fact that eventually I will be a mom to two teenage girls with all the drama and mayhem that accompanies it. (I used to be a teenage girl myself) My husband says he plans to stay deployed until they are in college and so I may have to endure those years alone. That leaves me to start making my plan and since I often prefer avoidance rather than confrontation, I am going visit Home Depot or Lowe’s and start stocking up on large cinder blocks.